Learning and holding space – Art Therapy, pain and Nachos

I have been using intuitive and healing painting for many years and love it. It’s my favorite way to paint. It is so much more exciting to paint without knowing what the end result will be while letting the flow of creativity run freely onto the paper or canvas along with all the emotions and traumatic memories attached to them. It’s amazing to see images show up on the page, teaching me, informing me, growing me from the inside, and then freeing me to let them leave. There aren’t always words to express ourselves, and it feels more intuitive to me to put them into paint, color, lines, and blobs and let them flow through me and into the brush and create marks.

I wanted to learn more about the process and had taken a few online art therapy courses (with CPD credits) that taught me some of the principles and techniques. Some of the modalities, like doodling and zen mandalas, I loved so much that I created an Emotional Literacy Survival Kit that can be downloaded here. My friend Michele extended the technique and incorporated applying colors associated with feelings to Zen Mandalas, and taught an online class together. It’s a wonderful starting point to get to know your feelings while relaxing and doodling.

In order to go even deeper with art therapy, I found a nearby art therapist who offered a series of online group sessions. Emma Sullivan and another art therapist from Belgium, Joanna Wróblewska, met us in a small and intimate online group (limited to 6 people) to process difficult life experiences through art, calling it “Holding the Difficult.” It was a wonderful container for exploration, and the tools they shared were useful and nourishing, especially during my challenging time of caregiving. Emma and Joanna were incredibly talented and gentle, making us feel at ease. The group was a wonderful mix of kind and open people who soon felt like friends and that made it easy to share our struggles and joys and expanded our capacity to explore our difficulties creatively. I could see a clear difference in the before and after painting we did of our body state as we started and on the last day, see below…

While I had been planning to go deeper with this exploration and finish some long-due paintings and series, I had to take a break from my studio due to a family accident, so the weekly continuing classes became my only oasis of creativity. My dear friend and soul sister (the daughter of the family I am living with) fell down the stairs in the house at the beginning of March and broke her ankle, and all our focus has been on her recovery. As this was a more complicated break, the recovery has taken much longer than expected. Most of March and April have been about caregiving, cooking, and learning new skills, and being creative with that. The hardest part was watching someone in so much pain and not being able to do anything about it.

Up until now, I can only describe myself as a reluctant cook. Even though I love baking, I am rather simplistic when it comes to cooking and stick to simple basics, adding a creative twist as I go. Following recipes has not been my favorite thing. It was a surprise to discover that I am not only quite capable of cooking decent meals with recipes but also enjoy the process of trying new recipes like grilled sandwiches and Nachos that weren’t even on my radar. I had been cooking dhals and Indian dishes, but now with more regularity, it seems a breeze and less anxiety-inducing. I dare say I am even enjoying cooking. I think mostly it was the anxiety of getting it wrong, spoiling a whole batch of food, and making people unhappy. If you are interested scroll down for some of the new recipes I learned…

So during March and April, the weekly art therapy group has been my anchor for connecting with my creative soul. I am learning to be patient with myself as I am learning new skills and expanding my creativity into other areas like cooking and gardening (see previous post). I found solace in the quote by Rick Rubin, describing our creativity as less about what we create but more as a way of observing, and the practice of paying attention. I think I had never put much emphasis on BEING but more on doing. More could be said about this, but for now, I leave you with the quote…

I am curious about your thoughts on this. Leave me a comment or email me.

“To live as an artist is a way of being in the world. A way of perceiving. A practice of paying attention.”

~Rick Rubin

Here is a list of recipes I learned:

• Indian-Ish Nachos with Cheddar, Refried Beans and Chutney
• Roasted Asparagus
• Vegan Nacho Pizza
• Best Chocolate Chip Cookies

Save the date for my upcoming “Damascus Open Studio” Fri, Sat, Sun May 17-19, 10am-5pm if you live near Portland, Oregon.